Director Seth Gordon
Genre Comedy
Cast Dwayne Johnson, Zac Efron, Alexandra Daddario, Priyanka Chopra
Rating R
Release Date May 26th, 2017
“Devoted lifeguard Mitch Buchanan butts heads with a brash new recruit. Together, they uncover a local criminal plot that threatens the future of the Bay.”
Baywatch is the feature film based on the TV show that ran from 1989-2001, which starred an actor and actress who graced the bedroom walls of teenagers everywhere when I was growing up, mine included. That would be the breathtaking Pamela Anderson, in case you didn’t grow up in the 90’s, and Night Rider himself, David Hasselhoff. A show that prided itself on bombshells in skimpy red bikinis patrolling the beach, Baywatch was destined to be a cult classic. Fast forward 27 years and the movie version is upon us. Baywatch stars Dwayne The Rock Johnson, Zak Efron, Priyanka Chopra, and Alexandra Daddario.
A talented and enthusiastic cast generate plenty of laughs and keep Baywatch from drowning, but a script with zero imagination severely limits its potential. I have been waiting months for this movie, and my expectations were sky high mainly due to a fantastic cast and an incredible marketing campaign. I thought to myself, "With such a great cast it would be impossible for this movie to be anything less than hilarious." Regrettably, Baywatch fell well short of my admittedly somewhat unrealistic expectations, and the worse part is how easily it could have been so much better. I was right about the cast and what they would bring to the table, because they were in fact hilarious, but the wheels fell off in another aspect of the film. So, where did Baywatch go wrong? Let me just start with the pathetic excuse for a script, which to my surprise was a joint effort between 9 different writers, 3 of which worked on the original show. It would have made more sense if they said that a group of 5th graders came up with it as part of a school project.
Now let's be clear for a second, I'm not necessarily bashing the jokes or funny situations throughout Baywatch, because it was able to get quite a few laughs out of me and kept me smiling for the majority, but the overall storyline was just shameful. It lacks identity and teeters between serious and slapstick, with no clear direction. The fact that a studio signed off on a script this bad with so much money on the line is beyond me. In no way did I expect an Oscar worthy narrative, I just wanted something that at least pulled me in beyond the gags, similar to 21 Jump Street for example. The balance is absolutely possible, so chalk it up as an opportunity missed. Phew, that got me a little worked up. Now that we are past that we can focus on the fact that the film does have positives, a good amount in fact. Some of the jokes do fall flat, but a fair share hit their mark, and hit it hard. As many critics and viewers have mentioned, Baywatch essentially earned its R-rating thanks to a plethora of di** jokes, and the majority are funny and at times downright painful to watch. Unfortunately the R-rated content most meat-eating, beer-drinking males were hoping for is relatively restrained. Sad, I know. Baywatch also includes a few amazing cameos, and at the end of the day it is an entertaining trip to the theater worth the price of admission. What will eat away at me for at least the next few days is the fact that it could have been much, much better.
The cast is fantastic all around, and the Dwayne Johnson and Zac Efron chemistry came together nicely. The back and forth between these two is priceless, and at times it is the ultimate battle of the biggest egos on the beach. Johnson has such a powerful on-screen presence that any scene is simply that much better when he is involved. I hope to see these two collaborate again in the near future. I wasn't sold on Priyanka Chopra as the villain, but I didn't hate her performance. She just lacked that edge you want from a character that is supposed to be a ruthless drug kingpin. Relatively unknown actor Jon Bass was an unexpected bright spot in the cast, and as usual I enjoyed the presence of comedian Hannibal Burress. Burress has a unique style as a comedian, and he is starting to thrive as the token funny guy in feature films. He is an absolute riot in the recent Will Ferrell and Mark Wahlberg comedy Daddy’s Home. The eye candy is aplenty compliments of Alexandra Daddario, and the beautiful model turned actress Kelly Rohrbach. Daddario has proven her ability as a solid actress, but Rohrbach's performance took me by surprise. The cast saved Baywatch from complete and utter disaster, that is one thing I am sure of.
Baywatch is like that friend you enjoy hanging out with but sometimes says or does the stupidest things and you wonder "What the heck is wrong with this guy?!" You think to yourself, "Man he has it made, good looks, great job, attractive girlfriend who makes him steak 5 nights a week,” yet for some reason he fails to live up to his potential. That, my friends, is this movie in a nutshell. Baywatch is funny, great to look at, and loaded with talent, but some idiot at the studio decided having a plot worthy of daytime TV just wasn't in the cards. Guys can gals will be pleased by the “scenery”, especially gals as a jacked Dwayne Johnson and shredded Zac Efron dominate the shirtless screen time. Keep your expectations in check and enjoy Baywatch for the visually pleasing albeit watered down raunchy comedy that it is, because at the very least you will get your laughs in one way or another and it will prepare you for a fun summer!
